Republicans: The "Magic Bullet Solution" Party

Solutions come so easy to the current Republican administration in Washington. Everything is cut-and-dried. Every problem has a solution. A simple solution. A talking point solution. A magic bullet solution. This attitude contrasts with what the President claims: "It's hard work." He says that about a lot of things. But let's look at some of the solutions to the tough issues his administration has faced, and see if the solutions are hard work. I hope you will be left with the feeling that it's not the solution which is hard work ... but explaining to America why the solutions did NOT work IS hard work.

Problem: Education.
Magic Bullet Solution: No Child Left Behind requires a make-or-break test. Everyone passes the test ... no one is left behind.

Problem: Abortion.
Magic Bullet Solution: Abstinence. If you don't have sex, you won't have an unplanned pregnancy.

Problem: Terrorism.
Magic Bullet Solution: Invade Iraq, overthrow Saddam Hussein, and show the rest of the Islamic world that the U.S.A. is not to be trifled with.

Problem: Illegal Immigration.
Magic Bullet Solution: Build a wall along the border with Mexico.

Problem: Pedophile Congressmen.
Magic Bullet Solution: Discontinue the Congressional Page program.

Problem: The flaccid stock market.
Magic Bullet Solution: Blame the "Clinton Recession".

Problem: Hurricane Katrina.
Magic Bullet Solution: Blame the State and Local officials for a poor response.

Problem: Unprotected ports, nuclear power plants, water supplies.
Magic Bullet Solution: There's a problem?

Problem: People protest the President's power-grab.
Magic Bullet Solution: Claim that the complainers are unpatriotic and are helping "the enemy".

Problem: Democrats look like they are going to win the House and Senate.
Magic Bullet Solution: Claim that Democrats will raise your taxes, allow unlimited abortion on demand, and will allow another 9/11 attack.

Problem: Waning global support for U.S. policies.
Magic Bullet Solution: Appoint John Bolton as ambassador to the United Nations.

Problem: Global warming.
Magic Bullet Solution: Get some PhDs to say that there's no human cause to global warming.

Problem: A journalist claims a report blows holes in your reasoning.
Magic Bullet Solution: Claim that you have not read the report.

Problem: You are asked why you did not anticipate Problem X.
Magic Bullet Solution: Claim that "No one could have anticipated Problem X."

Problem: Republicans are caught taking bribes, stealing, and/or having cybersex with minors.
Magic Bullet Solution: Claim that they are mostly guilty of being alcoholics.

Problem: Air America is stirring up activism amongst Democrats.
Magic Bullet Solution: Claim that Air America is going to declare bankruptcy "any day now". Also claim that George Soros cheated on his taxes.

Problem: The press points out that the above Magic Bullet Solutions are not Good Solutions.
Magic Bullet Solution: Make a sweeping reference to "the Liberal Media".